Next adventure.

I think now it's time to announce the news.
I will be going to Poland again in 10 days. I finally got my flight tickets and my next adventure is starting soon.

And it also means that this blog will be updated again! Welcome back.

Creating a new me. / Kuinka Puola kasvattaa. Part 2

After I came back to Finland I felt two completely different things: belonging here and totally not belonging. Last time it felt like I have been dropped into middle of  the play, but no one remembered to tell me the lines. This time, I felt misplaced, but I had the lines. I have found the words.

I never thought I would fall in love with Gdansk, but lately I have been missing my other home. I miss Poland. I miss working at IT Service Desk, I miss the amazing sushi in Fusion Sushi. But most of all - I miss my awesome team and my international family.

"You can leave us physically, but not mentally." Having shots remotely with my guardian angels ! #shots #missyou #fridaynight #traditions

Kuva, jonka Mira Järvenpää (@mirraje) julkaisi 28. 10ta 2016 klo 11.58 PDT

Finnish version of sushi

I also miss Korea. I miss bibimbap, amazing parties. Long talks and nights out. I miss the tradition of eating together, flavored soju and the habit of pouring for other before yourself. I miss cat cafes and easy metro system.

Oh, the happiness! I'm so gonna go there again.. #cat #catcafe #happy #ilovemylife #purehappiness #exchangestudent #korea

Kuva, jonka Mira Järvenpää (@mirraje) julkaisi 14. 09ta 2015 klo 9.52 PDT

I miss almost every places I have been. I believe it's because part of me is still there. I belong nowhere and everywhere. It is a great privilege in this small planet. Re-launching yourself after coming home isn't easy. It is a long process, you could even say endless process. Life isn't finding yourself, it's creating yourself. Every new experience shapes you and makes you a newer version of you.

For me Small Planet Studio has been a great help with coping with the changes and the emotions. I believe I will be able to create the perfect life for me. That global life I want so badly. One step of it is visiting my other home in one month.

Meaningless

This time I was more prepared for reverse cultural shock (or re-entry, if you prefer that term). I knew I will go through some difficult feelings and probably be depressed. I experienced it when I got back from Korea and  it was so bad. I couldn't do anything for two weeks, I didn't want to see anyone. I just wanted to lay in the bed.

This time I took different approach and decided to make most of it. I embraced the return rather than feared it. I am happy to be home, seeing all my friends and trying to get some structure in my life. I love the chaos but I learnt that having regular schedule can also be beneficial. It is good for basic work and resting, but if creativity is needed then chaos is better.

This time I am not sorry for being back. I don't feel generally bad. I don't see being abroad as only suitable choice. I like being home, but at the same time I have lost my purpose. It is the hardest, most terrible feeling I have had this whole week. I am meaningless, I am not useful to anyone anywhere and it is truly hard to deal with.

I am trying to finish my studies and working every now and then. Still I have a feeling I don't have anything to contribute here. I feel misplaced. I don't have anything to give and I am just floating around in my own bubble. I have no idea how anyone can deal with this kind of feelings. How do you find a new meaning for yourself?

What did I learn?

Neljä ja puoli kuukautta takana. Ennen lähtöä kirjoitin: Uskon, että tämä kesä antaa minulle enemmän kuin uskallan edes toivoa. En olisi voinut olla enempää oikeassa. Tämä kesä antoi minulle uskomattoman paljon.

Opin, kuinka paljon ympäristö vaikuttaa. Jos sinulla on aktiivinen kämppis, joka kannustaa sinua kokemaan enemmän, sinä todennäköisesti teet enemmän. Kun sinut tiputetaan keskellä tuntematonta, sinun on sopeuduttava ja tämä tekee kehityksestäsi nopeampaa, sillä sinun on haastettavatta itseäsi enemmän. 

Olen utealias persoona, olen aina ollut. Välillä olen saanut siitä negatiivistä palautetta, jonka takia yritän paikoitellen hillitä itseäni. Olen kuitenkin täällä oppinut, että uteliaisuus on ominaisuus, jota kannattaa vaalia. Olen ylpeä uteliaisuudestasi ja pyrin näyttämään sen yhä avoimemmin. 

Opin, kuinka erilaista on olla asiakaspalvelija puhelimitse. Ilmeiden ja eleiden puuttuminen tekee kommunikaatiosta erilaista, minun tapauksessani haastavampaa. Mielestäni kuitenkin kehityin asiassa ja saamani palaute olikin pääasiassa positiivista. 

Tutustuin tiketöintijärjestelmä Aquaan (BMC Remedy IT Service Management) ja opettelin tallentamaan, analysoimaan, kategorisoimaan ja priorisoimaan saapuvia tikettejä. Opin, kuinka pitkä prosessi yksinkertaisen ohjelman asennuksen takana voi olla. Opin, kuinka paljon erilaisia tapoja toimia.

Kun opin perusteet, pyrin tietoisesti pois harjoittelija-roolista, sillä se tuntui kovin rajoittavalta. Olin ensimmäisen tason tuki - se joka on yhteydessä asiakkaaseen ja varmistaa, että ongelmat ratkaistaan Kemiran toimintatapojen mukaisesti. Halusin lisää vastuuta ja sitä sainkin. Viimeisen kuukauden vietin auttaen uusia suomalaisia työntekijöitä.

Tavoitteeni harjoittelulle oli kehittää omaa työminääni ja koen tuon tavoitteen toteutuneen. Kunnianhimoni on kasvanut, olen sopivalla tavalla ammattilainen ja minulla on selkeämpi kuva itsestäni työntekijänä. Minulla on kuitenkin olo, että Kemiralla olisi vielä paljon annettavaa minulle. Saa nähdä, mitä tulevaisuus tuo tullessaan.
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Four and half months. Before going to Poland I wrote: I believe this summer will give me more I ever dared to dream. I couldn't be more right. This summer gave me incredible much.

I learnt how much your surroundings affects you. If you have active roommate who encourages you to experience more, you probably do much more. When you are dropped in middle of new environment, you have to adapt yourself to it and it makes your development process quicker, you need to challenge yourself more.

I am curious person, I have always been. Sometimes I get negative feedback about it and I try to hold myself down. Here I have learnt to appreciate it again and I try to show it more.

I learnt how different it is to be in customer service via phone. When facial expressions and gestures are missing, it makes communication different and in my case, it means harder. I believe I made some progress with it and most of the feedback I got was positive.

I became familiar with ticketing tool Aqua (BMC Remedy IT Service Management) and learnt how to record, analyze, categorize and prioritize incoming tickets. I learnt how long process basic software installation can be. I learnt how many different ways of working there are.

After I learnt the basics, I tried to get out of the intern role. The intern role can be extremely suffocating. I was the first line support which took care of the basic incidents, contacted the end-user and made sure everything is handled correctly. I wanted more responsibility and I got it. I spent last month helping the new Finnish employees.

My goal for my internship was to develop my working self and in my opinion I achieved it. My ambition has grown, I'm just right kind of professional and I see myself more clearly. I have a feeling Kemira would still have a lot to offer for me. We will see what happens in the future.

You can leave us physically, but not mentally.

My last days in Poland were beautiful and full of love. I was spending time with my colleagues as much as possible, trying to memorize their faces, voices and everything. The small things they do.

How Rafal puts his hair in ponytail. How Carl stands and smiles, how he always answers my questions without any hassle. How Marcin walks to my table, sighs and says what did you broke this time. How he looks right into your soul. How Alex smiles and laughs, how he tells me to stop dancing. How Pawel walks past my desk and ask on the way how's everything. How Riki tries to find solutions to cases I would have already given up, how he suddenly stops everything and goes for smoke. How Joona first sends me message via Skype and then asks the same thing aloud. How Adam speaks so fluently both Swedish and Polish, how he is all about learning next to Carl.

Everyone were so nice to me. They took me in with open arms and made me feel like home. And I don't how, but I end up with several nicknames.
Puppy,
Puppet,
Minion,
Happy feet,
The always moving Hula-girl of happiness,
Little ray of IT sunshine,

and of course my favorite: Little master of disaster. 

On my last day, my closest friends gathered at my place. Chilling, talking and helping me to get my stuff (and myself) together before going to the airport. It was amazing how they all made it there even after long night of drinking. 

And when I got home, I got the most adorable video call: You can leave us physically, but not mentally. Let's take shots! It seems I'm not going anywhere.